Just Past the Horizon

Its amazing to me the changes a year can wreak. In terms of job proficiency, I have skyrocketed. No longer is Dazed and Confused by Led Zeppelin my theme song, but instead Black Sabbath's Wheels of Confusion.

Wait, that doesn't sound better. I'll keep working on my metaphors.

I now have a pretty good formula for class: vocabulary and pronunciation practice, followed by work out of the student's text book. This usually takes up the first forty five minutes. During the second period, I like to have some sort of activity, and this changes on a week by week basis. Whatever I have them do, I like getting them to turn on their brains as well as exercise their mouths. One week we did a unit on poetry, another American folk tales. I also have one week where I make them invent and act out a skit.

The prompt for the skit making on this particular occasion was “weird family”. As the week went on, results varied wildly, mostly by class. Its weird, but classes tend to perform on the same level. If the first skit for the day is a dud, its pretty likely the rest will be bad as well. If the first skit is hilarious, you're in for a fun period.

There aren't a lot of skits that I remember, but some of them... well, they stick with you.

The period started off well. It was probably the first time I'd laughed out loud at anything the students had done. As the last group finished up, the next group got up to present. I wiped a few tears from my eyes. The class and I had burst a collective gut.

The group had nine members in it. Their spokesperson stepped forward and told us that they'd be performing Snow White and the Four Dwarfs. I was not amused. I'm usually unhappy when the students rip off their work from another source. But, I changed my mind pretty quickly.

The students went down the line and introduced themselves, first Snow White, the Four Dwarfs, the magic mirror, the queen, and the huntsman. One girl acted as the narrator. When they finished going down the line, I leaned back, expecting the skit to begin. Instead one more cast member was introduced.

“And Derek will be playing the Prince Charming.”

Before we continue, I should inform you that out of a group of seven girls and two guys, a dude had been chosen to play Snow White. I gave them all a suspicious eyebrow raise.

The story progressed as normal at first. Snow white lives in the castle with the queen, has to scrub the floors, boring, boring, yadda, yadda. Then comes the magic mirror scene.

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the most beautiful of all?” the student/queen asked. Mind you the queen is being played by the other dude in the group.

“You are, my queen. But although you are beautiful, there is one who is still more beautiful. It is Snow White, and you love Snow White!”

Wait, what?

Follow the scene where the queen orders the huntsman to take Snow White out into the woods and kill her/him. When he (one of the girl students, actually) comes back with the pig's heart (a crumpled up piece of paper), the queen once again quizzes the mirror about who is the most beautiful.

“Your love, Snow White, is the most beautiful!”

Now wait a minute. Is the queen trying to kill Snow White because she/he (gender was getting really ambiguous by this point) is beautiful, or because she (or is it supposed to be a he? You guys know a queen is a she right?) is in love with Snow White?

The queen kills the huntsman and goes to do the job herself. When she succeeds, the four dwarfs (played by the giggliest group of girls I have ever met) come skipping over to me, hoping I'll give Snow White a kiss to bring her back to life. The dwarfs looked at me expectantly, the class held its breath.

I totally kissed Snow White. Well, sort of.

Snow White was laying dead behind one of the tables where the class (except for the front row) couldn't see him/her. I leaned down, out of eyesight, and made the loudest, wettest kissing sound I could manage. After the howls of laughter had subsided, and Snow White had been revivified (that's right, my kisses can bring chicks/dudes back from the dead), the narrator continued.

“And then, the Prince took Snow White back to his castle.”

Without missing a beat, I grabbed Snow White, threw him/her over my shoulder, and marched triumphantly across the room to my castle. When we got there, I was in for a surprise. I set Snow White down, and he/she spoke to me.

“Thank you for saving my life. But I don't think you are my one, true love.” Snow White turned to look at the old hag who'd just poisoned him/her with an apple standing on the other side of the room. “I am really in love with the queen!” And Snow White rushed into the arms of her murderer. The treacherous harpy.

I still feel really confused. On multiple levels. A big part of this confusion stems from the question of Snow White's gender.

Option A) Snow White is a dude.

Ramification: I kissed a dude.

Option B) Snow White is a girl.

Ramification: My kiss drove Snow White, the mythic incarnation of beauty and love, to lesbianism. Maybe.

Really, this whole situation is a great metaphor for wider life in China.

------

I guess that wraps things up for this week. Life goes on. I have read a book and a fourth in the week that has passed. I devoured Eric Brown's Kings of Eternity (which was good), and I've started Stephen King's Eyes of the Dragon (which promises to be even better). Eyes of the Dragon is a fantasy novel no less, something that surprised me when I picked it up. Stephen writes it in a style that's somewhere between a children's fairytale and a campfire story with your grandfather. A change of pace from his usual approach.

Writing continues. My daily word counts are increasing, but not as quickly as I would like. I progress, but slowly. In fact, I still have yet to have begun today's work, and its nearly 5:30. Stupid teaching. It always seems to be getting in the way of things I'd rather be doing.

Only 366 days, 6 hours, and 21 minutes remain until the Hobbit premiers in theaters. Can you tell that I'm excited?

Oh, and by the way. I am now obsessed with the idea of learning the cello. I don't have any idea if this conviction will hold out until I get back to the States (or if it will survive the incredibly low income level I'll likely be living at), but right now, I'm pretty pumped. I found this awesome web video a few days back (shout out to Bethany Howell!), and by extension a really talented cello player whose music blew my mind. I may have gone out on iTunes and bought up everything he's ever done after-wards. I also might have a slight man crush on him. I'm still feeling confused after that skit, alright?

Hope life is treating you all well. (Really, this cello music is incredible. Steven Sharp Nelson. Learn who he be!)

Derek

Hello everyone. I'm back. I apologize for being away. The good ship Derek hit a rough patch recently, but never fear. He's still afloat.

Yes, I have been reading/watching a great deal of Tolkien, as my title reflects. By the way, there are only 374 days left until The Hobbit comes out in theaters. I am not lying: I would come back to America just to watch that film on opening night. But don't worry. I'll be coming back because I miss you all too.

A lot of interesting things have happened to me this year, and I'd like to chronicle them, if for no other reason than the excuse to write. But so much time has passed. Where do I begin, how do I sort out all that has happened? I think its only fair that I start at the beginning.

It seems like a decade ago. Drew, a friend of mine since time out of mind, and I sat waiting in the Indianapolis airport. There's a feeling that I get when I sense change in the air. It balls up just below and around my heart, nestled there like a blanket on a cold winter evening when the windows are fogged up and steam rises off of hot drinks shared in good company. I would say that its indescribable, but isn't it my job to describe things? The feeling is that of high school graduations, of going away parties. Its the feeling of one last college get together before those years of bliss are finally up. Its how you feel when the road beckons and you must say goodbye.

Drew and I were on separate flights out to New York, so we parted ways each to our own terminals. I settled down in the empty waiting area and propped my feet up using my backpack. At the time, I believe I had just started reading IT. I pulled it out and thumbed through a few pages, but I didn't read much. I was feeling too restless.

Six hours or so later, I had landed in JFK and was making my way from the domestic to the international terminal. I had plenty of time, but I was nervous. Switching terminals involved rechecking bags. Drew and I were on the same flight going to China, but Drew was coming in two hours behind me. I've done a good deal of traveling. To that point, Drew had done none. The first time you go through one, a big international airport can feel a bit overwhelming. Add to that a short time schedule (It can sometimes take hours to get your bags checked if you're standing in a long and understaffed line)? It can be a bit much for your first trip.

I sat down in the waiting area for the China Eastern flight to Shanghai and I waited, watching. The hours ticked by and no sign of Drew.

This was when our troubles began.

Drew's flight had been delayed. Fortunately, so had the China Eastern flight to Shanghai. When Drew came sprinting into the waiting area, bags floundering behind him, I was relieved. This was the flight we needed to board most. If he hadn't shown up, I'm not sure what I would have done. There was a big storm coming into New York, and if we didn't get out, we could have been stuck there eating cheap airport food and sleeping on the cold airport floors for days. The good news was that he was here. The bad news was that they hadn't given him his boarding pass for the Wuhan flight. There was only a two hour layover in Shanghai, and we lost an hour and a half from the JFK to Shanghai flight delay. It was going to be close.

We didn't make it.

We landed in Shanghai and raced to get on our next flight. The check-in line for the flight had long since closed by the time we got to it and the men manning it refused to print Drew a boarding pass. We argued with them . We gestured angrily for effect. The check-in men were not impressed. They told us that we could pick up our bags at baggage claim number sixteen.

We waited for a while, watching bags come down the conveyer belt and get drug off by various travel weary Chinese. My bags came and I loaded them on a cart. Slowly, the crowd died away leaving Drew and I to watch the near empty conveyer continue spinning.

“Where are my bags?” Drew asked. Because this is a family friendly blog, this comment has undergone some editing. It was originally a bit longer.

We watched and waited. No bags came. Drew stood there, tired, mandolin case in hand and backpack over his shoulder. My bags sat next to me on a pushcart. It was over twelve hours until the next flight to Wuhan.

If you've ever missed a flight, you know that there is often a complimentary hotel room given out if you have to wait until the next day to catch another. It was here that I made a bit of a dumb.

“Should we ask them for a room?” Drew asked me.

I debated internally for a while. If you know me, you know I don't have that much of a problem with sleeping on floors.

“Nah. Who knows how far away the thing is. It could be an hour into Shanghai. I don't really want to be away from the airport. If we had bad luck coming back we could miss another flight.”

In my defense, Drew never argued this point with me until much later. A lot of things make sense when you haven't slept in a day or two.

We wandered around the airport looking for somewhere to get some food. There were none considering it was after ten o'clock local time. Next, we tried to find a good place to lay down and sleep. That also proved impossible. For some bizarre reason a group of Chinese men had brought a jackhammer into the airport and were in the process of digging up the floor on the eastern side of the building. Since the airport was one giant room, their work followed us where ever we went. Eventually we gave up and went outside. Drew wanted to have a smoke and I was tired of listening to the jackhammer.

We sat for a while. Drew talking, me listening. Drew talks a lot, and more often than not I tend to be quiet. It makes for a good relationship. As we sat our eyes wandered the skyline of Shanghai. I don't remember who saw it first.

“Oh crap.”

If someone said oh crap, then it was probably me who saw it first.

There, across from us, sitting directly opposite from our terminal, was a big shiny building labled in clear white English letters: Airport Hotel. There was a lovely sky bridge that passed between the two buildings, connecting them. You wouldn't even have to go down to the street to get over there.

We went down to the help desk for China Eastern, hoping to get some help, but the people manning the desk were gone. We even went over to the hotel, hoping to bluff our way into a few hours of sleep, but it was not to be. They wanted a piece of paper. No amount of charm, wit, persuasiveness, or anger will convince a Chinese person to do something in the face of an all-powerful, omnipresent directive of a piece of paper.

So we slept in the airport. Well, Drew slept. I just sort of laid there for a few hours and then wandered around. When I was in high school, I could sleep at any hour of the day, and do so on any surface. That ability is now gone. In fact, I'm starting to turn into a bit of an insomniac. I blame China.


----



Its December here. Believe it or not, its still fairly warm outside. Cold weather, real cold weather, only arrived just this week, and was gone again just as quickly. Life as it ever has, goes on. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.

I've not gotten much reading done since I've been here, and in the last few weeks, I've been trying to make up for it. Recently, I polished off A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick, Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury, and Elantris by Brandon Sanderson. I'm currently reading both the Silmarillion (for the humpteenth time) and The Kings of Eternity by Eric Brown. Next up, either Foundation by Issac Asimov or something by Stephen King.

On the writing front, things go.... okay. I have gotten some writing done. But it hasn't been as much as I would like. That's part of the reason for the return of the blog. I'm having trouble on the fiction front, and writing non-fiction always seems to help smooth out the kinks. I have been having a good time at it though.

I've also been doing a lot of looking to the future lately, and I've decided that I've had my fill of China. I'll be coming home this summer to stay for a while. How long, or where I will go in America? Who knows. The thought of getting a job is a bit depressing, but I guess I've always had good luck in that department. Hopefully I can get something that doesn't involve flipping hamburgers. I think I'd rather go back to construction.

I hope life is treating you well. Until next time.

Derek

I never believed the old people in my life when they'd talk about time slipping away on them: the shpeels on such illustrious topics as “Don't worry, you'll grow up soon enough” or “You'll wonder where the time has gone.” I've never been in a hurry to get to the next big thing, and as such, assumed that time would continue to seem to stretch on forever thanks to my ever youthful and laid back mind.

Summer came and went in the blink of an eye.

Old people and their preternaturally accurate forecasts of the future. *sigh

I'm already back in China. In fact, as some of you who keep pestering me about my blog are well aware, I've been back for nearly a month.

Life changes seem to keep rolling on down, whether I like them or not. Most of them have been for the better. We've got a pretty good group of new teachers; perhaps too good. I've been so busy that I don't think I've spent a weekend inside my apartment. For this, I mostly blame Julie (yes you), a girl who moved into the sixth floor next to my buddy Dan. My friend Andrew has come over here as well, and is my new neighbor. There are a slew of other cool teachers too (Walter- my heterosexual half-joking man crush, Hue- the Welshman with the wavy locks of downy brown hair, and his snarky girlfriend Emily.) You'll hear some about them in the due course of time.

Classes have started. Fall has already shown up. Students are buzzing around the campus. Awkward questions are being asked at English corner. But below all these surface concerns a more profound thought has tapped me on the shoulder: a year has slipped away on me. This has prompted all sorts of complicated internal monologues, most of which can be summed up with this one thought: living in China can be sort of scary.

Coming over here sort of felt like putting my life on hold. Things would enter this bizarre stasis state, and when I'm ready to head back home, life will resume, just like I left it (totally not true). China's a vacation, a holiday from the grind of higher education or future job seeking.

That sounds good, right? I mean China's pretty cool. I've been here a year already, had a good time. This year has started off well, and promises to be even better. I was talking with other teachers about their future plans, and we got to talking about how good we have it here, about how maybe another year would be good....

I came over here with two goals in mind: learn Chinese and cultivate my writing skills. Guess how much of either of those two activities happened?

The scary thing about China is this: its easy to assume the vacation mentality. I work, at most, 14 hours a week. I've got more money than I know what to do with, even after paying my college loans. There are enough cool people to hang with that its like being back in high school and college. I've got enough books, movies, and video games to keep me content till kingdom come.

And if I'm not careful I'm going to wake up in this apartment at the age of thirty with a collection of short story fragments on my hard drive, and still unsure of how to ask for the bathroom in Chinese.

This wasn't so much of a negative thought, as a sobering one. All this is not to say I might not stay over here yet another year. In fact, if a bunch of my cool teacher buddies (or even just a few key ones) decide to stay, I'll probably stay another year too. But it is to say that I'm no longer on extended vacation.

It's sort of an exciting thought.

Public Service Announcement:

I'm beginning to really enjoy my blog, and as a result there will be a number of changes this year. First and foremost, I've hired some staff. In the past my posts have been hastily banged out in the course of an hour on a Sunday afternoon. No longer! I've hired an editor (myself) to keep me in line and grammatically correct, an advertising specialist (also myself) to increase my readership, and potentially an art director (also also myself, but we're still in negotiations) to post lovely pictures. These new staff members will begin their assignments next week.

As ever, life will go on. I've read many books since the last time I talked to you, faithful readers. Right now I'm reading It by Stephen King. It is good, but It needs to end soon so I can move on to something else.

I'll catch you next week.

Stay groovy.

Derek

I am the sort of person that wonders about things. If I read a book about baking, I wonder what it would be like to run a bakery. If I see a TV show about astronauts, I try to imagine what it would be like to float in space. I am by nature, a curious person.

Dear faithful readers,

Back in February I was knocking about southern China with my friends Henry and Dan. We had gone to three cities and the Tiger Leaping Gorge. It was our last full day in the south, before we flew home out of the city of Kunming.

Hello again. Your favorite wayward scribbler has finally put his blog writing hat back on for the new year.

A few days ago my friends and I were at the gym getting in our last workout before we take off for the Tiger Leaping Gorge. We stood around, flexed for the mirror, and talking about our respective plans for the future. We'd stop every so often and go do another lift. I'd gotten to the gym first, so I was done first. I messed with the other guys while they were trying to finish their workouts. Dan was trying to do some nearly vertical sit-ups. I put my finger on his forehead and pushed him every time he tried to come up. Henry found some little two pound weights and started setting them on Dan's chest when he came up.

While we were finishing up, Jackie came into the room. The gym is virtually empty now that all the students have gone home for spring holiday. There isn't anybody around who needs help with training so Jackie has two options: sit in his office, or come talk to us.

"So," he said. "Where are you going?"

It took us a minute to process that he meant for vacation.

"We're going to go to the Tiger Leaping Gorge," Dan told him.

"Ah, very beautiful. Be safe," he told us. "What are your years?" he asked. He was referring to the years of the Chinese calendar, like pig, rabbit, tiger, and the like.

"I'm a Tiger," I told him.

"Rabbit," Dan said.

"Dragon or pig, I can't remeber," said Henry.

"Oh, you must be very careful," Jackie said, looking at me and Dan.

Right now it's the year of the tiger in China. Chinese new year is on February the third, and after that it will be the year of the Rabbit. (I think it changes every year because of the lunar calendar the Chinese use) From what I've heard, it's bad luck for it to be your year. I still haven't figured out why.

"Yeah," I said. "I've heard it's bad if it's your year. We figure that I'm going to slip and fall down into the gorge and that Dan will die in a plane crash on the way back from the trip." Henry and Dan chuckled, but Jackie remained somewhat serious.

"In Hunan province this year there is a story; three police man died. They go to pull over a car. The men they pull over were very bad, and had guns. They turn around when policemen behind them like this, and bang,bang bang to the police car. Three out of the four policemen died. The first one born in 1972, and the other two born in 1986."

"They were all tigers," I said, knowing my own birth year.

"Yes. The policeman who got away, he was not a tiger, so he was safe."

We made a few more jokes about how Dan and I were going die tragically on the trip, when Jackie broke in again.

"Ah, but there is a way to protect from bad luck."

"Oh?" I said.

"In your country you have superman? What you call these? He wear them here." He pointed down to his hips.

"Underpants."

"Yes. Like superman, you need to get these. Red ones will protect you from the bad luck."

I've talked to some of my students about this. You'll notice that during Chinese holidays red comes out everywhere. Red is also a popular color on old buildings and in certain social situations. There is an old story that in ancient China there was a town that was plagued by a powerful monster or evil spirit. To frighten the monster away the townspeople hung red paper on their gate which protected them from the monster. That is why red is considered to be a protective color, and a color of good fortune.

Lesson learned:

Remember horror movie fans. If you're ever chased down by some slathering, mewling horror from the black gulfs between space and time, you just need to whip down your trousers and flash him with your red underpants.

Welp, I've got to go. It's 5:07 on Sunday afternoon here in China. Henry, Dan, and I are leaving for the airport at six. We'll be on our plane at around ten. I've packed my I pod and a few books for the trip. I'm going to spend the next week and a half hiking through the Tiger Leaping Gorge, and hopefully visiting Shangri La. I'll not be back till sometime in early February, so I'll catch you all then.

Later.

If you spend any length of time in China, there is one fact of life that you'll quickly pick up on: China is a land of relationships. Credentials are nice, but the Chinese don't care what degree you've got or what company you're the head of, if they don't know you, they won't deal with you. If you want to get anything done, you've got to know a guy.

Daniel and I were at the gym the other day, standing around in our rather thin fall jackets. Winter is coming on in earnest here in China, and very few buildings have central heating. Needless to say we were shivering, and lamenting our lack of winter wear. (I may have packed one of my bags full of books when I moved over here rather than warm winter jackets and hats.) We were about to go back to our workouts when Jackie Chan, the gym's owner and fitness guru walked in sporting a brand new winter jacket. Drawn like boyscouts to a campfire, we crowded around Jackie with a group of Chinese people to marvel at his new coat.

"Holy crap," Dan said. "That's made by Arc-teryx."

"Yeah? So?" You'd think I'd know more about outdoor equipment brands considering all the camping I've done.

"Those things are really expensive at home. Like two to six hundred dollars."

Two to six hundred dollars is a lot of money in the States, but it's nothing compared to how much that sort of money is worth here. I don't even make a full six hundred in a month.

After some of the other people cleared out we asked Jackie about his new coat; it was obvious he wanted to show it off. Chinese people love to have the best cloths and to let other people know they've got the best cloths.

"You like it?" He looked down at himself and turned back and forth a bit. "I got it from a friend at good price," he told us. "Three hundred fifty yuan."

That's about fifty dollars.

For the last several weeks we've been planning a trip to a place in the south of China called Tiger Leaping Gorge. It may be in the south, but a lot of the terrain we'll be walking through is up in the mountains where it will be cold. None of us have the equipment we'll need, and we've been talking about how we might go about getting it. We've been looking at coat prices for a while, and you can't even get cheap coats for that price.

"Ah," Daniel said. "That is a very good price." (Daniel assumes his "talking with Chinese people" voice. It's very clear, and a little slower.) "We," he points at the two of us, "have been thinking about winter coats like that one. We don't have coats yet and it is getting very cold outside."

Another pointer for dealing with Chinese people. Chinese people speak in implication; many do not say what they are really thinking outright. I think it's considered a bit boorish. We, as foreigners aren't that good at implication yet, but we're getting better. Notice how we didn't ask him if he could help us out. You imply that you would like help rather than asking for it, as a refusal would cause you to loose face.

But Jackie, being Jackie, wouldn't refuse us help.

"Ah," he told us. "I will bring you to my friend. Maybe I could take you sometime..."

We were all over that.

The next week we met him at the gym. We waited for a while, letting him finish up some last minute errands before we went down and piled into his little white car. I had to control my laughter when I saw the interior seat covers, Micky and Mini mouse. Very Jackie. Soon we were out on the street heading into Hankou, a subsector of Wuhan.

"Chinese driver... many bad habit..." Jackie told us.

"The always do this...." He held up as hand as if to smoke.

"And this," he said while he mimed talking on a cell phone.

"And this..." He stuck some imaginary food in his mouth. With his imaginary third arm.

"Don't worry, you be okay. I have good habit."

I think he knows westerners are a bit afraid of Chinese drivers.

A while later he pulled the car up and parked along a street lined with food shops.

"First, we eat."

Jackie treated Daniel and I to what he called a "Wuhan breakfast". This consisted of some amazing fried bread and a cup of dumpling like things called Tsao Mai. It's a dumpling about the size of your palm filled with a rice/meat sauce. The closest thing I can compare the filling to is beef straugenove (spelling?) The sauce was increadibly sticky, and I was afraid that if I let the things cool off they'd turn into little cement balls.

"The breakfast of the emperor," Jackie told us. "Only rich people eat these in the ancient China."

After breakfast we drove further into Hankou's back streets where the traffic became thick and congested. Eventually we pulled up on a street corner and got out. Jackie led us into what looked like a computer store. Imagine a massive rectangular room filled with desks pilled high with new or salvaged computer equipment. I have no doubt Steven is salavating while reading this. Dark booths lined the walls around the central area and it seemed like you could buy anything. Anything computer related anyway.

"Okay, wait here a moment." Jackie stalked off to a nearby booth and spoke to a person for a few moments. Then he moved to another booth and spoke again. He led us to several other booths deeper in the store where he spoke to a few more people.

"Okay, this way," he told us.

In the back of the store there was a doorway covered in those clear plastic flaps they normally hang over the back warehouses in stores. The sort of flaps that say without saying "employees only." Jackie, heedless, went right on through them. Daniel and I followed, like the two Spaniards on the heels of Indiana Jones in Raiders.

Jackie led us up a fight of stairs and out onto an open air hallway on the back side of the second floor. We could see other parts of the dense city around us, and have clambered out onto the roof of the adjacent building if we'd wished. Eventually we arrived at a set of rooms. Inside, the rooms were filled with boxes and a Chinese man sat on a chair next to the door. He and Jackie greeted each other when they met.

"This is my friend," Jackie said. "The price he give me will be the price he give for you."

When we reached the back room, Daniel and I stood gawking, turning round and round while in the background the Hallelujah chorus sang. There were shelves and tables covered in camping equipment. Stacked literally from floor to ceiling were various brands of hiking boots, coats, sleeping bags, camping stoves, gloves, and socks. There were also an assortment of used power tools, which was a little odd.

"Sometimes the factories will make too much. When they have to much sometimes they give things to people like him. They can sell for cheaper price and not pay taxes on the goods. The things you pay high price in your country for, we can get for very cheap."

Dan and I spent the next three hours picking through the pile, trying things on, checking ourselves out in the mirror outside. I now have some idea of what it must be like for girls when you guys go cloths shopping. I've just never found the right kind of cloths.

After it was all done and said, I bought two coats. One was a green and grey Arc-teryx that I paid about fifty dollars for. It's made lightweight and waterproof for hiking up in the mountains. I also bought a bright orange coat made by a Swedish company called Outventure. They make the coats exclusively to be sold in Russia apparently. The orange coat is crazy warm. I could survive a Siberian blizzard in that thing. And for only fifty four dollars.

I also bought a pair of Arc-teryx hiking gloves, which are very nice, and four pairs of hiking socks. The socks are glorious. I want to go back and buy twenty more pairs. They are easily the most comfortable socks I have ever worn.

My last buy was a pair of hiking boots made by CAT. They're nice brown shoes that have kept my feet a lot warmer in the winter weather.

Jackie also found something for himself.

"What you think?" he asked. He turned back and forth again, looking down at his shoes. They were bright blue, the kind with the white bottoms and end. The sort you often see skater kids or arsty kids wearing.

"I like them," he said. "But if my wife was here, she would say no."

"Why?" I asked him.

"I like to buy these kind of things. She doesn't like it. She always want to have the power." He smirked. "Always Jackie this, Jackie that. I like these shoes."

When I reminded him that his wife wasn't here Jackie's smirk became a broad toothy smile.

In total I think I spent a little over a hundred and twenty dollars on some very expensive stuff. All because Jackie knew a guy. To sweeten the deal Jackie got the guy to kick in some tiger balm, which is supposedly some sort of Chinese herbal healing remedy for aches and pains. So far all I know about it is that it smells funny. If I ever mess myself up, I'll try it out. Jackie also walked away with his new shoes.

Dan and I agree that if we weren't so poor we'd have bought out that entire back room. What was funny was that we ended up buying the same cloths. He also got the orange jacket and the green coat, though thankfully he bought a different pair of hiking boots. It's hilarious when he goes out on campus. Although we look nothing alike physically, Chinese people have a hard time telling Westerners apart. Some of my students have come up to him to say hello to me, recognizing the bright orange jacket. The looks he's described on their faces have been hilarious.

I could tell you a dozen other stories about how I've gotten something because I knew a guy. I got my xbox fixed because I knew a guy. I got a really cheap dvd player because I knew a guy. I can get almost any English movie or television series because I know a guy. Now I just need to find a book guy.

That's about all for today. I started writing this post weeks ago, and finished it up today. I'm feeling pretty bush-wacked since I got back from the gym. What's been amazing to me is how fast I'm putting on muscle mass. I am almost more cut now than I ever was in high school, and I can't even lift half the weight I used to. It's weird. It's probably all the vegetables I'm eating.

I've not read much more of The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. I'm hoping to bite in a bit more tonight. I've also put aside other writing projects in favor of a short story competition I spotted on the net. I've been brainstorming for it the last few days, but I've got nothing so far. I've got plenty of time though. The deadline isn't till February the 14th. Wish me luck. Catch you all later.

Derek

I would apologize for the following ramble, but it really doesn't bother me at one in the morning.

It's Tuesday here in China. I've sat in my apartment all day and I've done absolutely nothing constructive. (That translates to playing video games all day, something I haven't regularly done for years.) It's been wonderful. I've just finished class; I handed all of the final grades in on Monday. I never thought that I'd be the man some day, but there I was, deciding people's fate from the tip of a ball point pen. At least so far as their fate can be decided by their grade in an Oral English class.

I hope the new year finds you doing well. I hope you've met your resolutions for last year and have laid down some new ones. Things are great here, and I'm in my more usual high spirits.I've been hanging out with friends, Henry, Dan, and Ben. Playing Chess, eating food, watching movies, playing video games. Chris, if you're reading this, we need to watch some more Battlestar. I'm going to text you.

I kid you guys not, I've watched more T.V. over here than I'd watched in the states in years. I've been watching a show called Dexter, a black, sometimes comedic show about a lovable serial killer. Sounds weird, but I mostly like it. I've also caught the beginning of a few other shows; the West Wing, and Battlestar Galactica. I'm eagerly anticipating the premier of HBO's new series A Game of Thrones.

I'm really not sure what to put on the blog next, but now I'll have gobs of time to post. I'm off until February 21st. I'll probably keep busy, but it won't be work busy. I have about a bigillion ideas. (Which is Derek speech for three or four.)Don't be surprised to see a few posts in the next week.

I've blown through Light finally, the last book I was reading. I just sat down one day and ate that thing. It was a weird book, but worth the read for all you sci-fi fans out there. I'm starting The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte next. I'm not sure that I'm in the mood for that either, but I think I'm just going to sit down soon and power into the beginning of it. Once I'm into a book I'm usually fine. I've got lots more books on the list to read, but I'm getting nervous. At my current pace, I'm going to run out of books long before I return to the states, even with the occasional books mailed by family members. If that happens, I'll probably start twitching and scratching myself like a recovering dope fiend who'd like to relapse but can't remember where he put the number for his old dealer.

Other tasks, besides starting on another Bronte book, include finding a way not to starve to death, (The campus cafiteria will close down at the beginning of the next week, as will the night market. There's no money to be made when the campus is empty.) washing my cloths, and getting a hair cut. The stuff is hanging down in my eyes.

I've also come up with a few new years resolutions.

The first is to keep going to the gym.

I know that seems strange, but I've been in the gym on and off for the last two years. I've been three times a week for the last month and I aim to keep going at least twice a week, preferably three times.

The second is to resume jogging.

I was jogging three times a week, but I messed up my ankles and that broke that habit. Le sigh.

The next is to get a short story published. I'm really not that far off from beginning my venture into the short story market. I've got four short stories that could be ready in a month if I'd get my lazy butt in gear. I also know they are better than some of the garbage I've seen published out there. It's go time.

My next goal is to sit down and do a serious review of grammar and punctuation. My grammar is fine, but my punctuation is horrible. Abysmally horrible. Catastrophically horrible. Projectile vomit all over the side of your head from a screaming sick child while on a fourteen hour airplane flight horrible. I really need to get my act together in this department.

The next goal is to fast forward through this boring section of a song I'm listening to.

The last goal is to get better at chess. I'm terrible and my friend Dan is killing me here.

All of these goals are a bit short term, I know, but I've never really been a long term plans kind of guy.

That about sums things up. I think I've also satisfied my desire to ramble. Catch you all later, I'm going to go to bed.

Derek